i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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