Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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