I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
