he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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