Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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