Midget sex pt 2 tonight
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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