Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
