white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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