puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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