He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
