your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I faked an abortion last night.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
