had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize