you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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