I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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