no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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