I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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