Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
