it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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