Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
