pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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