I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
