hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
is it fun? or sober?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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