a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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