need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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