remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
