She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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