Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize