What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
