She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
