As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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