4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
