walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
