Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's rum buckets o'clock
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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