Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
