when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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