just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
