My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
