i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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