you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is the high leading the old right now
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
