My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
