I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
