thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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