I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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