So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
