The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
