ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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