I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
