You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
