She's JV to your varsity
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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