bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
