I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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