this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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