Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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