YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
