I wish i was in the wii world.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
