is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
