It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize