Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so let's talk penis.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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