I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
