how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
