you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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